Lillian,
One month ago (yes, this is a few days late), you entered my world. Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of love I immediately felt for you when the doctor put you on my belly. You were awake instantly and looked right at me. Although I was groggy and pretty exhausted, I remember that. I remember your eyes looking up at me. Scientifically, I know that you probably could not focus on my face, but it was still like you knew that it was me.
You have changed my world completely. You make me smile and laugh at things that I never thought funny before. Things I once thought unimportant are now at the front of my attention. I so enjoy picking out outfits for you, bows and flowers for your hair, and, just today, you fit into shoes!
I am so excited to see you grow up and to help you become the woman of God that I hope you will one day become. I hope that I can work on myself before you can repeat what I say and have the attitude I sometimes have. Sitting with you in church today, which was your first Sunday that you were awake during service, I thought to myself, "This is the life. I have the best baby in the entire world. I want to do the right thing in raising her." You make me want to better myself in so many ways. I can't thank you enough for being the motivation for my spiritual, emotional, and physical changes.
You are growing up so fast. You wore the outfit you came home in the hospital in for the last time today. Daddy and I couldn't button the top button on the back that goes around your neck! We took you to church like that anyway because I had to have you wear it one last time. I had to see a glimpse of that baby I brought home one last time. I had to pretend, just for a church service, that I had a newborn baby one last time.
I look over and see you sleeping in your highchair now and have tears in my eyes. You are so beautiful. I know you love me so much (even if right now it is because I'm the one who feeds you -- I'll take that!). Know that I love you, too, baby.
Love,
Mommy
Ah, Maria. I so get this post. The really cool thing is that tonight, at church, I looked over at my 12 yr old and had tears in my eyes. I love her (and her sibblings, of course!) so much and they have completed my life. Your desires for them never change, they just grow with them. Isn't a mother's love for her child amazing?
ReplyDeleteYou're doing a great job.